Broken Hearts by Zaynab Mufti Poet

BROKEN HEARTS

They say broken hearts heal with time.
So, I’m staring at the clock waiting for mine.
It’s a waiting game and I feel kind of lame, but I’m watching the hands move because I no longer have anything left to lose.
Because he doesn’t love me no more.
Every time I try see him, he shuts the door, I’m telling you he doesn’t love me no more.
I gave up my days for him. Sat up all night played games with him. Left all I had and gave to him, every thought word, and action.
Yeah, sometimes I’ll admit I used him as a distraction.
But honestly, it was mainly attraction.
I did sometimes feel forced because eyes were on me.
People around me expected it of me.
We were a power pair, when we were together it was like Chuck and Blair.
Ah, I could swear. If only you knew.
Gave up my time for him. Left my prayers behind for him. Got excited and committed crimes for him.
Told myself it was worth it. Those moments of happiness I deserved it.
But he doesn’t love me no more.
Really, I can tell you for sure, he doesn’t love me no more.
You know that one day it hit me I’ll remember till the day I die.
When I realised that I was the victim and he was the bad guy.
Nah I don’t cry. I don’t show emotion I’m a tough guy.
But this one broke me. He took my heart made me think I was happy and then choked me.
His hands around my neck like a noose he played me and then let me loose.
Pretended to give me the world and then just like that.
Took it all away and then he said to me, “Pat pat.”
He sat me down and said, “I’ll tell you the truth,
I broke your heart and made you waste your youth but,
It was my duty. You see long ago I made a promise to blind you with beauty.
I requested permission to take you off track, make you bend your back, and give me everything you had.
And every time you try and bounce back, I won’t cut you any slack, I want to see you shattered.
Down on your knees with all your morals battered.
Because you were easy. I flashed you one follower and you looked at me all cheesy.
You were naive. I splashed you some money and my goals were achieved.
I gave you the fast cars and the music gave you TV shows that were exclusive.
Made you waste your time till you thought I was too sick.
I had you in my grasp it was simple to hold you in my clasp.
Made you leave your lifeline, your book, for me, made you constantly look for me, gave you a taste of my world, and you were hooked to me.
It’s not my fault you couldn’t see the signs.
Not my fault you ignored the guidelines, and put down your blinds to the truth that was desperately calling your name.
You see, I am merely a game, nothing but delusion. I cause you confusion and make you come to the wrong conclusions.
You thought you loved me. I’m sorry to say but you misjudged me.
I am not your Chuck and you are not my Blair; I’ll be truthful I don’t care.
My respite comes to an end when the horn is blown.
Back to hell, I’ll be thrown all alone.
Not going to lie, I just didn’t want to be lonely.
I was trying to make this world seem homely.
So, I broke your heart and made you leave what you’ve been taught.
You sold your soul to me and let yourself be bought.
I encouraged you and put you in a trance.
Just because I know, you still got a chance.
Even though you turned your back on him and gave all your love to me, God will still welcome you back with open arms.
I’m not sorry I broke your heart. I’ll keep trying till the day you depart.
So, it’s a bye for now but I’ll see you soon.”
He left the room.
He does not love me no more. My heart is broken and I’m feeling sore.
But at least I know reality. He doesn’t love me and he never did.
They say broken hearts heal with time.
I don’t think I believe in that line.
Don’t think I’ll wait for the hour to pass, or the sand to fall.
Maybe all it takes is pulling out the mat and not even giving it my all.
Just take a step towards the Almighty and witness Him come running.
Move to Him by the length of a hand and He’ll come to me by the length of an arm.
I guess trying won’t do me any harm.
My ex has been baited, that love was overrated.
They say broken hearts heal with time.
I no longer believe in that paradigm.

Apr '20

Zaynab Mufti is a student and poet. Having performed at various events, she writes about a range of topics from faith and spirituality, to injustices and politics. Below is a piece regarding her take on the trials of choosing where to place our love in this temporary world.

Instagram: @zaynabmufti